


love (is a word you’ve never learned)

by adagios



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, POV Kunimi Akira, but he can’t find himself to love back, kunimi wants to try, mentioned! Tsukishima Kei, onesided! Kageyama tobio/kunimi akira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 06:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30101676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adagios/pseuds/adagios
Summary: emotions aren’t that hard to fake.it sure does come back to bite you, though.—or: tobio asks akira a question he finds he can’t answer.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio/Kunimi Akira
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	love (is a word you’ve never learned)

_“do you love me?”_

just four words. four simple words, directed at him, yet akira finds himself not able to answer it.

he keeps his mouth shut, knowing that if he opens it, he’ll spout another nonsense. instead, he stares at tobio’s expectant eyes, as if waiting for him to say yes. waiting for him to say _‘i do. i do love you.’_

but akira looks at tobio and sees a boy with too much love to give. sees a boy with so many plans for their future even when akira was the one who asked him out on a date. sees a man with his heart on his sleeve — and the guts to lay it all bare to one kunimi akira — because he trusts that akira will take care of it.

akira looks at tobio and sees a hopeful boy with a heart so pure and love so beautiful and he thinks _this boy deserves to be loved back._

but akira knows he can’t answer that.

because while tobio looks at akira like he’s the whole world, tobio is a creeping fear akira can’t shake off of him. he shouldn’t be scared, he knows he shouldn’t be. 

but when he looks at tobio, he sees something that he regrets ever forcing himself of doing. looks at tobio and remembers he can’t be on par with the love that tobio gives.

tons of excuses then fill up his mind: _you deserve more than what i can give. it’s not you, it’s me. i don’t think i can be the right one for you. i can’t look at you in the eye and give you the fondest stare like your blonde-haired friend could. he likes you. you should go with him. i cannot compare. you’re far off better with anyone else._

he looks at tobio’s hopeful eyes and can only gulp. 

this — _this_ is the consequences of grasping borrowed emotions. hiding in a facade of fondness. hoping for love when you just declare it.

love’s a word akira has never learned. not yet, not even from volleyball, not from anything else.

and especially, _heartbreakingly_ , not from tobio.

because while akira’s got tobio wrapped around his finger, love is still an enigma he can never be able to grasp, no matter how much he tries.

maybe he never will. and that’s what scares him.

——

  
  


_“do you love me?”_ tobio has asked.

——

night has come, and tobio’s long since gone.

akira has never given him an answer he’s longed for.

**Author's Note:**

> title from avril lavigne’s ‘give you what you like’
> 
> i hope this was understandable 😭 this is a prequel to “my heart doesn’t feel like yours (but damn do i want it to)”, a tkkg fic of mine! have akira’s short introspection of sorts in this one!
> 
> i’ve been trying to get back to writing, but i sure can’t get past my beef with narratives.
> 
> let me know what you think!!!! it means a lot 💕


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